Couples & Partnership Counseling in Frederick, MD
There are three different cycles of intimate relationships: growing cycles of contentment, growing cycles of distance, and growing cycles of pain. Of course, we all start out thinking our relationships will be content forever, but this is not possible because our differences create conflict or conflict avoidance, which takes us into the other cycles. For example, you may feel as though you and your partner are operating in two separate worlds. This distance leaves you feeling lonely and even depressed. Perhaps you have stopped fighting and basically ignore one another. There is little affection displayed between you, and when you do interact, there is a lack of kindness or thoughtfulness. You may be asking yourself, “do I even know if I still want to be with you?” Has it become more about keeping the peace rather than working out the problems?
In the case of a growing cycle of pain, loneliness can turn into negativity and blame. You likely find yourselves fighting over the simplest things. Are you asking yourself, “What went wrong?” Or, “How did we get here? What is wrong with me? What is wrong with him or her? Do I even care about my partner’s happiness? What about my happiness?” All are very valid questions and very difficult to examine without professional help. Most times, it is simply a matter of better communications and listening skills to help relationships turn towards being healthy.
Many times my clients do come to counseling seeking answers to those very questions. If you are wondering why your expectations are not being met, or are feeling stuck, becoming frustrated when not being listened to, now’s the time to seek help. The pain, hurt, and anger that is damaging your relationship will come up over and over again until addressed. I can help you learn how to get past superficial arguments, negative ways of communicating, or even silence. If you are willing to do the work, you can master the steps it will take to rebuild your emotional connection.
To manage conflicts and stress, couples sometimes turn to marriage counseling or couples counseling to help heal the relationship. Recognizing and accepting that your relationship needs help now is the first step to regaining a growing cycle of contentment. Relationships need positive attributes to survive. I can help you learn new skills to effectively identify and communicate your needs and strengthen your relationship. If you are in or around the Frederick, MD area and wish to start healing, please call me today at 443-398-1700.